Do not attribute to Malice what can adequately be explained by Stupidity.

Do not attribute to Malice what can adequately be explained by Stupidity.

     I heard this quote today in my awesome Relief Society lesson. It was related by one of the sisters but comes from the addage by Robert J. Hanlon. Anyway, we were talking about not holding grudges and how to not be offended. I love this quote because it makes me think about how people say things all the time and sometimes we get offended. But I honestly believe that most the time we don't mean to offend people. Sometimes we offended because we're extra sensitive to that things, or becuase we're just having a bad day. But the person that offends us rarely knows those things! I truely believe it's important to think about people intentions and then make our decions about how to feel about those things. I try very hard to not get offended by people. And if I do get offended, I try to forgive and forget. Unfortuneately, I'm not very good at this when it comes to my family. I expect them to be perfect and when they say things I don't like, somehow I hold grudges against them. Another thing mentioned in our class was that

"When we hold grudges, we're allowing someone to live in our heads, Rent Free!"

     I completely agree with this. I know when I take offense to something, one of the only things I can think about is what I'm going to say to that person the next time I see them. I also think about what I wish I had said back. And there's usually a nice way to respond, and a clever, but terrible one. It usually takes longer to come up with the latter just cuz I'm not very clever. Ha. But I think that's a good thing because if I always said the clever, mean comment, I would leave a lot of people offended! I'm also a pretty passive, non confrontational person, so I try not to say mean things even if I want to. However, this isn't usually true if it's a member of my family. When they offend me, I'm the first person to tell them. And I don't think that's a very good thing. I know I need to more forgiving of the people that matter most in my life.

     This is especially true of my husband. Because we're always together, I take out a lot of my anger on him even though he doesn't deserve it. I would like to publicaly apologive to him for that. He's the most incredible mad in the world and I don't treat him nearly as well as I should. I certainly don't mean to hold grudges against him, but it seems that everytime we fight, the same issues come up. And that's because for whatever reason I can't forgive and forget. That's something I really need to work on with myself. I need to be the most forgiving of him than any other person. I love you Justin!

In General Conference in October of 2010, Elder Neil L. Anderson said

"In our weakened moments, the adversary seeks to steal our spiritual promises. If we are not watchful, our injured, childlike spirit will retreat back into the cold, dark crust of our former bloated ego, leaving behind the warm, healing light of the Savior."

     We need to leave our egos behind and CHOOSE NOT TO BE OFENDED. It's a lot easier said than done, but it's necessary if we are to really become like the Savior, and to have a happy life. I know I'm a lot happier when I'm on good terms with all the people in my life. If I've ever offended you, please tell me so we can get passed it. I want to make it all right for everyone involved. I hope you can join me in my quest to be more forgiving. 

All alone

     This week has been WAY too long. Justin is back east in his hometown, attending the wedding of one of his high school buddy. He's in the wedding party so he had to attend all the fancy events and parties. So he's been gone since last friday night! I've been a loner loser! Ha. Actually, that's not really true. I've been lucky to have lots of friends come to my rescue!  Justin's family, Heather and her room mates, Karri and her friends. It's been wonderful! I wanna say thanx to everyone who hung out with me this week!!
   
     Since being married, Justin and I have stuck together a lot. There's been plenty of girls nights and time for ourselves, but i don't like to be without him! This past week I've had to make due with just myself. It was hard at first, but with all my friends there to help, it really hasn't been that bad. I've been able to get a lot done, cleaning, working out, studying, all kinds of stuff. It's been nice! Don't get me wrong. It's not like I want to be single again, but I'm glad I can still be on my own. The hardest part of it all was trying to go to sleep! I have such a hard time sleeping in my bed by myself. Justin and I aren't always all over eachother when we sleep, but I always have atleast my foot touching his, so to have nothing was really hard! I had to watch stupid shows to try to get my asleep and I don't like that. Partly cuz it made it harder to fall asleep. haha. So i'm REALLY glad he's coming home Sunday night.

     The reason i'm writing this Friday night instead of Saturday night is cuz tomorrow I don't be slone anymore! ha. Kelly's FINALLY coming home to me!! YAY!!! You have no idea how excited I am. The first time she called me since she left I actually teared up cuz I miss her so much. She's been gone for 3 weeks now. I can't wait to see her tomorrow!!! I'm excited for all the stories I get to hear and all the pictures. There will be lots and I can't wait! I love you smelly!

I love you, Dad!

Maybe this is cliche, but since it's Father's Day, I want to write a blog about some of the "father's" i've known..

     I have had the privilege of knowing a lot of great men in my life. Both of my grandfather's are incredible people. They raised my amazing parents and I'll be forever grateful. Sterling Cheney, my dad's dad was incredible. I didn't know him nearly as well as I would have liked when he was alive, but I had the opportunity to transcribe his life story that he recorded before he passed away. He shared his tesimony a number of times and I felt the spirit so strong. He talked about the way he raised my dad and his siblings and it was so neat to listen to. The thing I remember most about him was his very wity, dry sense of humor. He was always cracking jokes, most of the time at other people's expense. In a good way! Ha. My mom's dad, Ronald Zirker, was also amazing. He was the hardest working man I've ever known! He raised my mom and her siblings to know the value of hard work and honesty and love. He was extremely loving and made sure everyone knew how much he loved you. When I was a little girl, I had a shirt that said "Girls are sugar and spice and everything nice, boys are snails and nails and puppydog tails." I would quote that to him all the time and he'd tickle me till I couldn't breathe! ha. When I got older, he quite pinning my down, ha, but he never stopped tickling my neck and giving me huge bear hugs! Both of these great men have passed away in the last couple years. It's been sad to be with out them, but I know they're enjoying their time on the other side, being missionaries and helping us down here. I can't wait to get to know them even better some day!

 

Urban Sterling Cheney                               Ronald John Zirker

     There are a bunch of other men that I've really looked up to and trusted. Mike Hudson is one of my dad's best friends and I've always thought of him as sort of an uncle. I trust him with my life and have always looked up to the way he protects his family and friends. Another is Opa Bergmann! He's my hubby's grandpa and he's an incredible man. He came to the US from Germany so he could have a better life with his family. The amount of strength he's shown over his years is amazing and Justin and I really look up to him. I also have to mention Gene Bergmann. He's Justin's uncle and has really taken care of us since we've been married. He's a wonderful person and has really made me feel like part of their family. I love being at their house!

The first man is Gene Bergmann and the second is Opa.

     There have also been a number of friends of mine who's parents have really taken me under their wing and treated me like their own kids! Kirk Hoopes, Gary Jones, Doug Later and many others. I've always felt comfortable in their homes and have really appreiated their love and support.

    My father in law is also an incredible man. Greg Smith is my hubby's dad and he really is an amazing person. For one, he's the father of my amazing hubby and that's an amazing feat! Ha. Since the day I met him, he's made sure I felt part of his family. He's always been so loving and I'm so grateful for that! The first time I ever met him was the summer Justin and I got engaged. We weren't quite there yet but we knew it was happening! Their family is huge on beach volleyball, so we went to play that weekend. He mentioned something about playing in a tournament that weekend and needing another girl so he said he was going to watch me and see how good I was. I spoke up way too soon and said I might be good enough when in fact I was no where close! Anyway, long story short, sfter playing for a while we went swimming and I asked him how well I did and he told me traight up that I sucked! Haha. I know now he was comparing me to girls that were a lot better, but for how much I had played, I was ok. Haha. It was just a wonderful first impression! Ha. I love how honest he always is and has been through out our whole relationship. I love being a a part of their family and he's a big part of that. I'm so grateful for him!

Dad and his 3 sons. :)

     My hubby is going to be a great father one day too. I can't wait to see him with his little kids! They're going to love him more than anything and I know he'll love them too. Everytime there's little kids around, he's the first one to be playing with them. Almost all the time! I love that about him. Our friend's Blake and Nellie just had a little baby and it was really neat to see Blake with his brand new son. I know Justin will look at his babies the same way. I can't wait to see that!

 

My amazing hubby and me!

      Last, but certainly not least, is my own father. Craig Cheney is one of the greatest men I've ever known in my entire life. He's everything any man could ever aspire to be and I will be endebted to him forever. My entire life he's been there for me and I know that will never change. Whenever I have any kind of problem, he's there for me. And it doesn't matter what kind of problem it is. Even if I just need to talk, he's always there to listen. He knows almost everything there is to know about the gospel and can always answer questions. Everyone in my family, on both sides, always calls him when they have questions about anything gospel related. I've heard countless times from different memebers of the family about how they all trust him and look up to him. He's also been incredibly successful in the business world. He's incredibly smart and has always made good decisions that have brought him great success. Everyone i've talked to that knows him in this world always has the best to say about him. It seems that everywhere I look there are people that look up to my dad. I love that about him. There isn't a single person that thinks poorly of him. I've never doubted for a second that my dad loves me and that means the world to me. I'll never be able to pay him back for everything that he's done for me but I know that I'll never have to. I love my dad more than anything in the world! Thank you daddy for being so incredible!

 Me and my Daddy at my wedding. :)

Confession

I have a confession to make. I'm FINALLY getting my act together and loosing all this weight. I broke down to Justin the other day and told him how much I hate the way I look. For the last 2 years or so, I've felt like a pretty skinny girl in a fat girl's body and I hate it. Like really bad. It's the worst feeling in the world. It got to the point where I didn't even like to look in the mirror. I don't like to shop because even when I find something cute it doesn't look good on because I weigh so much more than I wish I did. And I've tried a hundred times to quit eating so much and to just work out already and for whatever reason, it hasn't worke. I've never really committed to it. I've tried P90X. It was too manly for me. Ha. (too much lifting weights and not enough cardio for my goals.) I tried running when Justin started training for a marathon but I've always HATED running. Ha. I tried Jillian Micheals 30 Day Shred. Good workout, but only 20 minutes. (You really need 60 to 90 minutes a day to actively loose weight.) So, although I had good reasons to quit the others, they weren't going to acheive my goals, it still meant that I quit working out. I also never had a real nutrition guide although I've taken more than enough nutrition classes to write my own. ha.

Now, I have no more excuses. After my break down, we decided to buy TurboFire. It's a Beach Body work out, (like p90, p90x, insanity and a bunch more) but this one is an intense Kick Boxing cardio program. It's insane! I started last week and It's been so hard, but so worth it so far.

Anyway, I feel like the only way I'll be able to do this is if I'm truely accountable to someone. I'm defintely accountable to Justin, and he's promised to keep me honest about it. But I also know he loves me and loves me no matter what, so if I tell him I quit, he'll try to convince me other wise, but it's an easy out for me. So, I'm becoming accountable to YOU. My readers. haha. Which I know is few, but I've found that some people read it, and it's a lot of my good friends that I know really care about me. So, i'm gonna document my progress every week on here. I have goals set up and I know I can reach them. I'm also pretty sure I can way surpass them. If I follow them, I'll be pre wedding weight by my birthday. YAY! That will be awesome. :)

My goal for the end of July is to loose 15 pounds. So, here goes!

Funny Story!

Funny Story...

The other day, I was going to put something down on my night stand and I had to walk around the bed to get there. There's a chest at the foot of our bed that's about knee height. So as I'm sure you can guess, I hit my knee super hard on the corner of the chest as I was walking around. It hurt so bad! It was funny, but it hurt! Ha. So anyway, I set my phone down and laid on the bed in pain, and when I got up to go back to the kitchen, or wherever I was going, I HIT MY OTHER LEG! hahaha. I couldn't stop laughing! And wincing from pain! haha. It was so ridiculous, I couldn't believe it. ha.

So now I have twin bruises on both knees. haha. Moron here! I was gonna take a pic but I keep forgetting, so maybe I will later and add it. ha

Day 28 - 30

Ok facebook challenge, I'm getting sick of you, so how about we be done already!

Here's day 28-30, the end of my challenge and beginning of normal blogs again.

Day 28- A picture of something you're afraid of.

The one thing I want more than anything in the world is to be a mom. I simply can not wait till the day I have my own baby. I know, you're not supposed to say "I'll be happy when..." But it's the truth. I know I'll be happy the day my first is born. That doesn't mean I'm not happy now, but it does mean that I don't feel complete. I know there are babies in heaven waiting for me to graduate and have a baby already! Ha. Everytime I see a baby, or hear about a friend that's pregnant, something inside me aches a little. Because I want that for myself. It's even harder for me when I see mother's that don't take care of their children, or seem to not want them.

So, it stands to reason that the one thing I'm more afraid of that anything in the world is not being able to have a baby of my own.

I'm terrified beyond belief that once we actually start trying to have babies, I won't be able to.

It's silly I know, but I feel like this is going to happen to me. I am Terrible at remembering to take my birth control, so I feel like if it was going to be easy for me to have babies, I would have already had one. Ha. So either the Lord is really taking care of me, and is waiting till we're really ready, OR, my body is going to have a hard time getting pregnant. I'm also really afraid of miscarriages. And the thing is, is that it happens to a lot of women. So I know if I have one it's not the end of the world, But it'll be the end of my world. I guess we'll see what happens! I have dreams atleast twice a week about my children. Sometimes they're little babies, and sometimes they're just little kids, but I love to see them. I think it's Heavenly Father's way of saying, "Just be patient, They're coming."

Day 29- A picture that can always make you smile.

Honestly, No explanation needed.

Day 29- A picture of someone you miss.

I have to go with my gut here and go with the person I thought of first when I read this prompt. Someone I miss a lot is....

Steve and Kim Zirker and family!

These are some of my favorite people in the whole world. Kim and Steve are the goofiest, silliest, most ridonculous couple ever! I really got to know them when I stayed with them for about a month a few years ago. I fell in love with their beautiful kids and got to see what great parents they really are. And I got to see how, I can't think of any other word other than ridiculous, they are. Ha. They just love life and really live it. And the thing is, if/when they read this, they're just gonna laugha dn make jokes about how silly I am. Me?! Ha. I try to make jokes as often and as clever as they do but I never can and then they make fun of how lame my jokes are. It's a vicious cycle. Ha. I've never laugh harder than when I'm with them. I hope one day I can be just like them!

Love you!

Day 30- A picture of yourself

This is the most recent picture of myself.

I don't love it, and by "it" I mean the picture, not myself, 

but it's me!

Heavenly Father answers prayers!

So, this is a picture of Aunt Karen, Justin's cousins Sarah, Jaime and Jessica, and Jess's two little kids Kyle and Kara. They are so freaking cute. This pic is a little old, so they're a little bigger now, but not a whole lot. Kyle just turned 2 and Kara is 5. They also have an adorable little newborn! He's still so tiny! :)

Anyway... Today we were at Aunt Karen's house for dinner. It was beautiful outside, so we were sitting on the grass talking and having a good time. And of course, Justin was gooing off with Kyle and Kara. They chase him, he chases them, throws them around, you get the gist. Ha. We left a little earlier than we wanted to so we could hang out with some other friends though, so we said good bye and left.

A few hours later, Justin realizes his ring, that his dad gave him, is not on his neck anymore. This ring is a big deal to him. It was engraved with a little design that his brothers and dad deisgned and then had tatooed on them. Since Justin wasn't going to get a tattoo, they made him a ring. It says Family Forever in a neat way. Needless to say, it's a very special ring. The chain he wears it on has been coming off a lot lately so we knew that it had to have come off while he was wrestling and playing with the kids. The only problem is that it's now 10 PM and dark, and Gene and Karen's yard is huge! They were running around, playing in the whole yard and it could be anywhere. So we go over there to look. I took one section and seriously stared down the whole section. But I was walking super slow, making sure I looked at every inch of grass. He was only on a little portion of this grass, like maybe 10 feet by 15 feet but I looked in there for seriously 15 minutes. It was going to take 3 hours to scour the whole section of grass they were in at the rate I was going.

So I go over to the other patch, and stop and say a little prayer asking to PLEASE help us find the ring because of how much it meant to Justin. So I start looking again, but instead of scouring every inch like before, I just started walking, slowly, but much quicker than before. And not a minute of looking after I said the prayer, I looked down and there it was. I bent down and picked it up and started to cry. I was amazed at how quickly I found it. It's not like there was a little voice that said "go right there," but there's not a single doubt in my mind that the Lord was guiding my feet in that moment.

I know that was a long way to tell what could have been a very short story, but I wanted to make it more dramatic. Ha. Partly because I simply couldn't believe it. I was shocked at how quickly I found it after that short and simple prayer. I'm still in disbelief about it. I've had prayers answered before, but never like that. It was a huge testimony to me that even though this is a silly little ring, and has no real value, because it meant something to Justin, the Lord cared enough to help me find it. He listens and answers prayers. He cares about things we care about. He loves us and wants to make us happy. What a great way to end our Sabbath Day.

Thank you Heavenly Father!

Empty Nesters

I'm taking a break from my picture challenge to write a real blog. Not that the picture thing isn't cool, cuz I like it, but I started blogging so I could write a type of journal, and I haven't been able to really do that. So, here's my normal blog.

Kelly's Gone! :( When we she came I never thought I would cry when she left. I knew I would like having her, but i didn't think it would turn out like this.

For those of you that don't know, (a lot of people say that to explain things... But I'm pretty sure only like 5 people read this and they know the story. Ha. Oh well. For Posterity's sake then.) Kelly moved in with Justin and I about 2 1/2 months ago. She was having a hard time with her friends in Texas and needed to get away. At first, things were peachy. But after a couple arguments btwn me and Kelly and Justin and Mom and Dad, it got a little rocky! Kelly and Justin are two very strong personalities and unfortunately they didn't agree on a lot of things. Ha. We also had a few comminucation issues. After a couple weeks, we weren't sure if we were gonna make it. I was also making some huge mistakes and not following through with things that I should have and picking the wrong battles. It was rough. I wasn't sure if I would ever be a good mother. It was really disheartening to me. Being a mother is all I've ever really wanted to be and I was terrible at it. I guess I never thought it was going to be easy. She's a teenager and I'm not her mother, but our relationship as sisters has always been good. I thought it would be just like being sisters. But unfortunately it wasn't. There were lots of tears and a few pretty intense conversations.

   And now I find myself near tears again. Inspite of some of the silly arguments we had, I already miss her. She's been gone only a few hours! I had tears on our way to the airport. I told her I was gonna miss my little girl, and she said, you know you're not my mom, and I said "but you'll always be my little girl." I know she's not a little girl, but she's been my little girl for a long time. She and I have always been close, but the past few months have made it even better. We have a relationship now that we could have never had any other way. She's and incredible woman and I'm lucky to know her.

I love you Smelly! Have Fun in Europe!!