Music is what feelings sound like....

Music is a HUGE part of my life. I simply could not live with out it. I go crazy when everything is just silent! Now, there are moments when silence is necessary. There's nothing sweeter than sitting in the temple in silence and listening to the spirit speak to you. But other than that very instance, I almost always want music. I can't ahndle dirving with out it, I just won't work out with out music, I get ready in the morning with music, it's on at work in a head phone.. you get the picture. When I was younger, one of my favorite things was to wake up on Saturday mornings to Jon playing the piano. He has a beautiful way with the piano and I can't get enough of it. In spite of some of the silly fights i've had with him, I have always loved and praised his incredible abilities with music. I grew up with music all around me. Not just with jon, but the rest of my family as well. We're all pretty decent singers and we put together a pretty good quartet. Ha. And I love all kids of music. Sometimes I'm in the mood for some twangy country music, sometimes Micheal Buble and company. Other times some Relient K and other times Josh Groban. Just depends on my mood! If I hear a truely beautiful voice, I almost always cry. Ha. So I want to share a few videos of some of my favorite songs. These aren't my all time favorites, but they're songs I can listen to over and over again and get chills every time...

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. ~Aldous Huxley

I know this sounds lame, and I can not Stand Taylor Swift, but I can  listen to this version a million times over and over. ha.

A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. ~Leopold Stokowski

The Cello Song, by Steve Sharp Nelson

John Williams is a genius. I can listen to his music all day.

This is one of my favorite Church songs ever. It's so incredibly beautiful.

Anyway, enjoy my little rant on music. I love it!!

Yes, I was wrong...

Ever feel like a moron? I have...

Ever accuse someone of something they didn't do? I have...

Ever make someone feel like crap cuz of something you did? I have...

Ever wish you had just said something, rather than keeping it cooped up inside where it gets worse and worse and then when it comes out it's nothing like what it was when it started? ha.. I do.

I just want to apologize to anyone that i've ever done anything like this too.

 I'm sorry!

Flashbacks...

Ever feel like you just want to be wanted... Yeah.. It sucks...

Long time no see!

Sorry blog world. I've been crazy busy lately. It's been since July 2nd that I last posted! Sad Day. Ha. I have been reading other blogs, but haven't been writing. So, maybe i'll give an update on one of my recent blogs, my weightloss journey! Ha. I don't want this blog to become some kind of story of inspiration and i'm certainly not looking for some kind of movie deal with my crazy story. ha. But I said earlier that I needed to be responsible to someone for my progress, so here I am. I'm actually trying to be 100% honest with my hubby about everything I eat and the workouts I'm doing and stuff. He's my biggest fan in all this so if i'm having a hard time with whatever, I feel very comfortable with telling him and getting his help. To be honest, i haven't always felt that way with him about my weight. I was dumb, but I allowed myself to think that all  he wanted to was to have the perfect  beautiful wife and I wasn't it because of my weight. And i can't believe I thought that. When I finally told him that I felt that way, he was almost offended that I had that little of on opinion that he would think that. So, shame on me. But luckily we've gotten passed that. I know he loves me no matter what and I'm lucky to have him there to help me. The thing that's the best is that he cares so much about me that he'll tell me all the good things, and he's there to help me with the bad too. When I don't work out, he'll ask me why. When i'm eating something that I shouldn't eat, he'll tell me not to! And that's the way I want it to be. I need someone to help me out! And I'm lucky to have him.


So, wanna know how well i'm doing?! Ha. I started about a month ago, and I've lost 15 lbs!!! Woohoo!! I'm very proud of myself. And i'm finding it's really not that hard. Ha. Why didn't I do this before?! I feel awesome when I work out and I've found some awesome recipes via "Cook this, Not that." It's an awesome cook book and all the recipes have under 300 calories per serving. Sweet huh?! I love it. And so does my hubby. Ha. I'm cookin some YUMMY food. :D It's surprisingly saving us money too. I have to get different kinds of protein every day so it's making me plan all our meals and planning saves a LOT of money! ha. So yay!! So far, WAY good and I'm loving this! I haven't actually seen a whole lot of change, but I feel it, and the scale sees it, so I'm trusting it and I'll keep going. 

Thanks for all y'all's support!  

Do you trust me?

I have had a major issue lately with trusting people. I feel like I do a good job of giving people the benefit of the doubt and saying they're being honest until proven otherwise. I don't like to automatically think people are lying. I know a lot of people need others to gain their trust, but I think I'm the other way around. It's even to the point where I get teased a lot cuz I believe when people tell me silly things! Ha. Like they'll make up storeis about themselves and I have no reason not to believe them, so I do! But lately I feel like I've been lied to by people that I thought I could trust. And I'm findin it crazy hard to trust someone after they've lied to me and I know they have. Like sometimes I think someone's lying, but I don't know for sure, but when I'm certain they're lying to me, I have a hard time even talking to them! To be honest, the first time I really noticed a problem was my freshman year of college and since then, once I know someone's lied to me, it's hard for me to trust them again.

I'm not sure how to deal with this... Does anyone have any suggestions? I want to say first, so that no one thinks the wrong thing, I'm not talking about my hubby! He's always been so honest with me and I'm incredibly grateful for that. But unfortunately, there's been lots of lying among the people I care a lot about and it's incredibly hard to deal with.

One situation in particular was with someone extremely close to me. I was getting along amazingly well with this person and I just found out this morning that they have been lying to me for months. I feel so betrayed by them and I don't know what to do about it. I want to talk to them about it too but I don't know if it will do any good. This person is in a really fragile place and I think it will just make things worse. Any ideas...?

All I is I never want to be lied to again...