Heaven is for Real

     So, I had testimony buidling experience on the way to work today. Ha. I know, random. I was driving south on I-15 way too fast cuz I was late for work, and I saw a billboard with a picture of the Savior on it. It was an add for a local church saying that Jesus was our only way to God and quoted John 3:16. And it reminded me of a book I read recently called "Heaven is for Real."

     Justin and I went to his hometown of Erie, PA over Christmas. His dad and stepmom aren't members of the church, but have their own beliefs about God and religion. His stepmom Cathy especially. She's very sweet and has always been very accepting of others and their beliefs. (Justin is the only active member of his family.) Anyway, I can't remember under what context it was, but she was telling me about this book called Heaven is for Real and said that I should read it. She said she knew we all had our own beliefs and she really didn't care what they were as long as we believed in God in some way. She said the book was about this little boy who supposedly has a near death experience and comes back talking all about heaven. Anyway, she gave me this book and told me to read it.

     I didn't actually start reading it till the end of the plane ride home. Had i started at the beginning, I would have finished it before it was over. It's not very long. And it was really really good. It starts out talking about this little boy named Colton Burpo, age 4, who got sick and ended up in the hospital. His parents were given little to no hope but luckily he pulled through. After the surgeries, Colton started talking about how he knew what was going on while he was in surgery, (his dad praying and his mom talking on the phone.) It seemed odd that he knew those things since he was never told. Then he started talking about his little sister who his mother had miscarried, (who he didn't know about) and his great grandpa who he had never met. He also spoke about sitting on Jesus' lap and learning from him. He said Jesus has markers on his hands and feet and wore a purple sash and a gold crown and that he sat on the right side of his Dad's big chair. He said that Jesus and Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit are two different people, not all one like most churches teach. He said he met Jesus' cousin John the Baptist and he was so nice. He also talked about a war that was coming and how we all needed to be ready for it.

    

     It was told by his dad and the related in Colton's words and they were very innocent. He didn't even know the word for sash, just said that Jesus had a purple thing that "went from here to here" while motioning from his shoulder to the opposite side of his waist. It was all very sweet and reading what he said about the Savior actually made me cry. Thinking about this little boy sitting in the Savior's lap, learning about all kinds of things made me really smile. Anyway, I'm not sure how to describe the way it made me feel, but I really enjoyed reading it. It took all of 2 days once I started, and that's only because I had other things I had to do. ha. It's only 150 pages or so.

     Anyway, the point of the blog.... After all the stories were told in the book, the dad, who is a pastor, talks about the way it affected him and his family. he says they always knew about heaven, and knew it was real, but couldn't see it, and had a hard time REALLY believing it was all true. This experience gave them the reassurance to know that they REALLY were going to see their loved ones again, and there REALLY was life after death. So here comes the testimony builder, that for some reason came to me while I was driving this morning. I really enjoyed reading the book, and was impressed with what Colton knew, that was all doctrinally sound, but it didn't really reassure me that it's real. And that's becuase I already knew. I've never had a near death experience that sent me to heaven, but I don't have a doubt in my mind that everything I know is true, and that there is life after death, and that heaven is for real. I know it a little differently than Colton does, mostly because he was describing it from a 4 year old perspective, but at the same time, it's the same. I know my Savior is in Paradise, sitting at the right hand of his Father. I know my family members who have passed on are there, busy with missionary work, waiting to see us again. I know my Savior would comfort a child, hold him on his lap and teach him of truths of the gospel. And I know he still has the marks in his hands and feet to show who he is. (although I imagine that when I do get the opportunity to kneel at his feet, I won't need to see the markers to know.) I think it's great that this little boy was able to help so many people with the testimony he gave. But I'm more grateful that I don't need that kind of experience to know. I know because I recognize the Savior's hand in my life and I know He lives.  

   So, if you have a few hours to read a good book, I highly recommend it. Here are a few photos of them. :)

Colton and his dad, Todd, at the age of the incident.

After his experience, everytime Colton and his parents would ask his what Jesus looked like. Everytime they saw a picture of the Savior, they would ask Colton and he would always say it was wrong for whatever reason. Until he found this picture...

It was drawn by a little girl who had a similar experience to Colton. In the book it talks about how the two of them met and talked and talked and talked about the things they saw and they were all the same. This girl was an art prodigy and was able to draw this picture, along with many others. I think it's a beautiful depiction of the Savior.  

This is a video of the family with Colton telling a bit of his story.

(I know he says that everyone has wings, and I know angels in heaven do not, in fact, have wings. I can reconcile this by saying that he was only 4 and had to describe what he saw with words that he knew. So maybe it looked like it to him. But who knows!)

21 Adult Truths!

This is hilarious! I tried to make it bigger so you could read it better, but then it looks weird. So, I'll just type them out, cuz it's worth it. By the way, the (**) comments are mine. And they're not as funny as the "Truths" themselves, but this is my blog, so i'm gonna write them anyway. ha

1- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. (been there, done that)

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. (haha, but I'm never wrong!)

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. ( I love naps) 

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. (I could use one of those.)

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?! (AMEN!)

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (ha, I still like writing cursive.)

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. (haha.)

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. (I know that sounds a little sad, but you know it's true!)

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired. (That's not necessarily true for me, but I can appreciate that for sure. ha)

10. Bad decisions make good stories. (Ha, have a few of those myself!)

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (I think it's right about NOW for me.. Yes, I'm at work writing a blog. ha)

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again. (haha. I never had too many blue rays, so as long as it happens soon, I don't care.)

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. (been a long time since I wrote a ten-page paper, but I've definitely experienced that little drop in my stomach.)

14. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would be on any given Firday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay. (I can honestly say, none of my kisses have begun with either!)

15. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. (ha. Definitely.)

16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (Guilty...)

17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? (ha. I think the answer is one.. ha)

18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! (Hey! I'm usually that jerk... ha)

19. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. (My hubby is the worst at this!)

20. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, findinf their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey- but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. (hahaha. I'm SO good at the snooze button. ha)

21. The first tentacular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realiz that their brain is also important. (WOW.... wow...)

(I know it says 23, but it looks like some of the pic didn't make it. ha)

Reverence

I've always had a sort of proud spirit for our Armed Forces. Both of my grandfathers, and many other members in my family served in the Air Force. And after living in a country where national security is not one of our top priorities, you become much more grateful for it. In fact, I think i'm just a proud American. I've always felt a sort of reverence for things of this country. Not everything, ha. I don't agree with everything that goes on here. But for the most part, our ideals and basic principles and things like the American Dream have always had a special place in my heart. I cry like a baby every year at the Stadium of Fire when they sing the National Anthem in such a grandious way.


Anyway, I wanted to blog about something we did last week. We were in Denver, visiting two of our best friends Blake and Nellie and they took us to the Air Force Academy. It's in Fort Collins, about 30 minutes south of Denver. It's a beautiful valley and even prettier campus. If you could pick somewhere to go to school, it would definitely be there. We went first to the visitor's center. It had a neat little hallway with posters and information about the academy.

Me and Nellie and Blakey next to one of the posters. :)

This one is about the Seniors. They had one for every year they're in the academy explaining they're primary focus and duties. I LOVE that pic of the seniors on graduation day of them throwing their hats with the fly over by the F-16s.  

After that we watched a little video about the life of the cadets and it was really neat. They had me wishing I had gone there! I was very impressed with the way the cadets handled themselves and presented themselves and the respect they had for their peers and supervising officers. It means a lot to them that they're there. It was also noted that they give up a lot to be there. most ppl their age are excited to go to college, get away from mom and dad, party it up and live the college life. But they go to do drills and work hard and become an officer in the United States Air Force. It's something to be commended for sure.

The other really neat thing we saw was the church they have built there. We went on a little walk from the visitors center so we could see it. It was seriously incredible! It's one of the focal points on the campus and a beautiful building. 

Justin and I in front of the church.

Blake, Nellie and Blakey!

Isn't that a cool building?? You can tell how HUGE it is from how little we, and the ppl behind us, are.

This is the inside of the church. It was so beautiful!!! I wish we had a picture that could really do it justice. The stained glass windows were incredible.

     There were also other chapels located donstairs. None were quite this grandious but they were still beautiful. And no, there wasn't an LDS chapel, but we don't really need a chapel to worship, right?

Outside the church we could see the whole campus, which honestly wasn't that big. And I mean the number of buildings wasn't very large. There were huge facilities to do training and stuff, but there's only 4,400 cadets at the academy at any one time, so they don't need much room for housing and classes and such. It was also neat to see all the planes they had displayed on the campus, some of which we were told ares till in Air Force Inventory, meaning they're still functional planes.

Here's two of them! Blake knew what they were, but I don't remember. ha. Anyone know??

This is prolly my favorite pic of us. Love you Justin!! :)

These were taken out the car window. Ha. So they're not the best, but I think they're cool! I wish the pic showed how enormous that plane was. It was incredible.

Sweet pic! Again, out the car window. Sorry the mirror had to make a cameo. ha. Still a cool pic. :)

So that was our little visit. I hope you feel some of the same reverence that I feel for these people that give so much of themselves for our safety. Our country wouldn't run with out them and we literally owe our lives and freedom to them. I want to say thank you to every service man and woman that ever has and ever will serve in that capacity. For those of us that don't get to do that, we need to make sure this is a country worth protecting and do our own civil duty to keep it that way.

Throw up and Back Scratches?

.. DISCLAIMER!! This could be definied as a TMI post, so be warned. ha....

     Wanna know how I knew Justin was a definite keeper? Well, let me tell you a story. It has to start with a little back story though. Since I was 17 ish, I've had TERRIBLE monthly girl times. ha. I get so sick that i throw up everything, and I do mean everything, including bright yellow stomach bile. It's SO disgusting. I'm keeled over on the bathroom floor for atleast 2 hours and I feel like my stomach is being stabbed a million times over again. It's the only pain in the world that brings me to tears. (except  maybe getting poked in the eye.) Anyways, it's horrible. The good (and sometimes bad) thing about it is that it's not very consistent. Good because it doesn't happen every month, bad cuz i can't plan on knowing wether or not it's going to come. My monthly cycles are never very predictable either. I know around when it'll come, but never for sure. And again, sometimes it comes (the sickness, not my period) and sometimes it doesn't. So.. Back to my Justin story.

     When we were dating, about 2 months in, I was at home by myself and I started getting sick. I knew it was happening, so I called him and asked if he could give me a blessing. (I've never been through this without a blessing, and I never plan to.) He asked what was wrong, so I told him and he came to get me. He took me to his house and called his friend to help him with the blessing. When it was done, his friend left, and I went to the bathroom to throw up. Here's the kicker.. He followed me to the bathroom and sat on the floor with me and rubbed my back while I threw up! I couldn't believe it. And for 2 reasons... 1, I couldn't believe I was letting my new boyfriend watch me in that kind of state. It's not a pretty sight to watch some one throw up. Let's be honest. 2, I couldn't believe he was there scratching my back. Most people's reaction to throw up is gagging. (Mine is!) Just the smell revolts me. But there he was.

This is about what I looked like. Sad day. ha.

(tip, don't google "girl throwing up." It's kinda gross.)

     I'll be honest, I wasn't thinking in that moment that he would be my hubby cuz of how sweet he is. I was probably cursing my stomach and uterus, which is usually what I do during that time of the month. But thinking back, after the hell passes, and I was laying on his bed, watching "Ratatouille" (I only like to watch Disney movies when I'm sick. I don't know why. ha.) I was thanking my lucky stars to be with some one so incredible.

     The reason I'm telling this story now is cuz it happened again yesterday. I was about to die, and there was Justin, sitting on the bathroom floor with me. He was also making me walk around the house to try to get me to throw up sooner. (The sooner I get it all out, the sooner I can fall asleep and have it be over) And he knows this, so he's making me get up and walk around to make it come. He rubs my back and my head and lets me squeeze his hand and leg when I'm in pain. This time, as I'm cursing my woman parts, I'm also thanking Justin for being so amazing, and my Heavenly Father for letting me have him. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be blessed with such an amazing Husband. He really is the perfect man for me and I'm so grateful for him!

This is me and my amazing hubby. I LOVE YOU BABY!

I am a Mormon!

Remember my daily scripture texts? Well, I made them into a blog! You can subscribe to it with e-mail, or just see it, or nothing at all, ha. Just thought I'd let you know! :)


http://iamamormon6.blogspot.com

Dissapointed

I haven't posted in a LONG time, and for that I'm sorry. I really like using this as a journal of sorts, but i've never been good at writing in journals. I take that back, when I was in high school, I wrote ALL the time. But it's been a long time since high school. ha. And sadly enough, a lot more important things have happened since then, but i chose to record the less important things. ha. Oh well. I guess it's all important.

ANYWAY, so this morning I had A LOT on my mind. ha. There are a lot of feelings associated with all of it and I'm trying to make sense of it all. I'm not even sure how to define all these feelings so I figure if I write them down, in a place where some one else might read them, I can be honest with myself, and see how silly some of my feelings might be. Ha. I don't mean they're wrong, because no feelings are ever wrong. They may be misplaced, but they're never wrong. So let's see if I can make any sense of this.

How do you deal with dissapointment? Or should I even be dissapointed? I'm the first one to say don't get offended if offense isn't meant, but some how I find myself offended, and dissapointed. There are a few people in my life that I look up to, and when they aren't perfect, I get upset. Unnecessarily upset. Maybe some back story would help...

Last year, my favorite couple in the world got divorced. It was very randomly sprung on me and a complete shock. I had no idea this couple even had problems! I mean, everyone has problems, but I never, in a million years, thought this couple would get divorced. And it came after my brother had just barely been divorced. I had a HARD time dealing with that cuz of a lot of issues I have with my brother, ha, but it got a lot worse when this couple decided it was time to be done. The thing is, I know they would never do it unless they really believed it was the right thing to do, but I always thought there were very, very, very few reason why it would ever be right to get divorced. Anyway, my little world was shattered last summer and I cried to my favorite aunt and uncle and I realized it was really my fault for being upset. I hardly ever get truely angry. Upset? All the time. ha. But angry? Not really. However, in this case, I think i was truely angry. And why?! I should be loving these people, not judging them for their mistakes. But I  had put all my trust in Happily Ever After on them, and now it was ruined. But that's not fair of me to say of them, is it?! I just don't know! It was so confusing. And it still kind of is. I don't make a whole lot of sense to even myself. ha

So what does this have to do with now? Well, the passed few months, I've been sending out a little scripture/spritual thought in a text message every day. I send it to a lot of people, like 40, and most of them really like it. In fact, most of them thank me for it. I don't do it for that though. I do it because at Education week, some one suggested that we do things like that, and we were reminded that the General Authorities have been pushing us to share the gospel in our multimedia outlets in any way we can, so here's my way of doing it. So last weekend, a friend of mine (one of those people I used to look up to) told me she didn't want me to send those messages anymore. She said it was distracting to  her and her efforts to raise her children, and that she felt I was being pushy and nto allowing her to worship the way she wanted to. She said she wanted to worship her own way, with her family, in private and that she didn't need me to tell her what to do or how to worship. I got really upset by this. Probably a lot more than I should have, and if you're reading this, I apologize for getting upset.

But let me explain why I was so upset. I never meant to be pushy on anyone. I was just trying to fulfill a request from the prophets, do my part in spreading the gospel and maybe I could say something one day that some one else needed to hear. Not to mention, it's a way for me to explore the scriptures and get a good thought in for myself. I guess I felt like since she was saying No I don't want your daily spriritual thought she was saying she doesn't want me. And I was hurt by that! And then, yesterday, I was told that one member of my favorite couple (see above paragraph :) ) didn't want them either. So that brought all those feelings of almost rejection swelling to the top and nearly brought tears. I know I shouldn't feel this way, because I know these two people don't hate me, but I don't understand why they don't want to participate with my daily thoughts. It's not like i'm preaching repentance, or giving a whole talk every day. It's just one scripture! I guess it's because I expect more out of these people and they've been giving me less than i want.. but that's not fair of me to say. Who am I to judge them? Maybe they do have legitimate reasons for not wanting to participate, and who I am to say their reasons aren't good. I'm not there in their life to know what's really going on. I should be there no matter what and be able to respect their wishes.

But somehow, I'm hurt. And I bring up all the old thoughts of everything i can remember that went wrong and then i'm even more upset. So, I guess my question is how do you not do that? How can you seperate what someone did in the past to what they're doing right now? And how do I follow my own advice of not getting offended when offense isn't really meant?  I think it has something to do with true forgiveness. I need to forgive this perfect couple for making that mistake, and stop thinking that it had anything to do with me. I don't think I ever thought they even thought about me even for one second when they made this choice, ha. But somehow I was personally offended by their actions and I need to not be. So here I am, trying to get over things that aren't even my problems! ha. Sad day, right?

The position has been filled...

I just had an experience that I've honestly never had before. I'm currently working at Nu Skin in the call center providing sales support for the Latin America markets. It's not a super exciting job, but it pays the bills. And I actually love working for Nu Skin. It's good to work for a company that really does care about their employees. So... Now the actual story of my blog... I don't mind working in Sales Support. But it's kind of monotonous and not even close to what i went to school for. Ha. So recently there was a position available in the Product Support department. It would still be a phone job, but talking about the science of the products instead of just selling them. If you know anything about Nu Skin at all, you know how amazing the products are. And the science behind them is fascinating. I went to the convention last year and got to talk to the man behind the science and I was in awe. Ha. I know that sounds dumb and makes me a total nerd, but what they've been able to do with these products is awesome. I love it. So, naturally I was super excited about the position opening up. I applied and thought for sure I would get it. I got an interview and felt like I did really well in it! Then I got an e-mail saying the position had been filled. I was crushed! I thought for sure I would get the job and I was excited to not have to place orders anymore. But I didn't get the job...

I e-mailed the HR department about why I didn't get the job and she sent this back... 

I’ve spoken with **JOE** about the interviews. He informed me that you simply did not interview as well as the other applicant. There wasn’t anything significantly wrong with your interview or qualifications. Rather, the other applicant wowed them more and they believe she is more qualified for the position. I hope this helps.



Ouch... What does that even mean? I've never interviewed for a job and not been offered a position. I didn't interview as well as the other applicant?? What else did I have to do?! Tap Dance?! I'm surprisingly upset by this.. It prolly has something to do with the fact that my hubby and I were banking on getting this job for the raise in pay and the benefits it would provide... We don't have any health insurance and now I know I can't get it cuz I didn't interview as well as the other person? That sucks... Major blow to the ego.. I guess I needed one of those. ha. Oh well.

I'm a WOOFER!

        Ha. I know, Justin made fun of me a lot for saying that. And i'm not actually a "woofer" but I am a "WFR" a.k.a. Wilderness First Responder! It's like an EMT, but one step below, and everything applied to a wilderness context, when you're hours from emergency medical care. It's something I've wanted to do my whole life and I finally got the opportunity to do it! It was a 7 day class and it was held at Snowbird in Sandy.

        Basically, we learned how to identify whether or not the patient has a life threatening (or limb threatening) medical emergency or if they were gonna be ok. Then we have to decide what kind of evacuation is necessary and how to do it. The hardest part though is being thorough and figuring out what's really going on. There's SO many things that can be happening and it's hard to catch every little detail. It's also hard sometimes to distinguish between 2 things that look the same. We were told to always assume the worst because if you think it's less serious than it is, you could have some one die! And that would be terrible. ha. Anyway, it was a super fun class and I'm so glad I got to do it!

        Here are a few photos with a little bit of explanation. :)

This is the whole group. From left to right... Joe, Kendra, Sam, Happe, Brad, David, ME! and Sam. They were all great ppl with great stories. Most are outdoor adventure guides, (lucky!) and some just wanted to learn some cool stuff. (like me :) )

 

This is where we did one of our simulations. We would have a couple ppl from the group pretend to be patients out in the wilderness and our teacher would give them a set of signs and symptoms and we'd have to figure out what was wrong and what to do about it. This onw was WAY far away. If you can see it, the Tram that goes to Hidden Peak at Snowbird and we're half mile away up and down this ridge.

If you can see this pic at all... It's Happe (yes, that's his name. Very fitting for him. ha) and Brad. They were patients for a crazy sim that we did on the top of the mountain. Happe ended up dying and I was in charge. Oops! ha. He had a Traumatic Brain Injury, was suffering from Volume Shock and had been impaled by a branch that went all the way through his back and out his stomach. It was bad. ha.

This is Sam, Sam, Kendra and Brad carrying the stokes litter back from our sim. It was a PAIN carrying all the stuff in and out. Luckily they didn't make us carry our patient in there! We did other times, just not up that gosh darn hill. Ha.

View from afar... ha. This is halfway back from out sim.

This is me getting wrapped up in a hypothermia wrap. It was freezing up there! Ha. I didn't really have hypothermia (duh!) but we were practicing. It really worked! I was toasty. :)

Wrapping up the hypo wrap. They ended carrying me all around the summit. ha. It was fun but felt really weird! ha.

 

At the summit, getting ready to do something really cool I'm sure. ha.

Having a little lecture by the warming hut.

Another lecture, but this time in the Ski Patrol hut. The other teacher we had is on the Snowbird Ski Patrol.

We're trying to figure out how to get this guy untangled from these poles without comprimising his spine. Not as easy as it looks!

So our teacher really liked that I was an Athletic Trainer so she asked me to teach a few tape jobs. We were talking about dislocated patellas (knee caps) so I taught them a tape job to keep it in place once it had popped out. I also taught them finger buddy tapes, and an ankle tape job. It was fun!

This is EMMA!! She's Mark, the ski patrol guy's dog. She's one of 5 of Snowbird's rescue dogs and she's so cute! It was so fun to have her in class. I love Emma! :)

This is the view from the top of Snowbird! How lucky am I that I got to take a class there!!

We love him, because he first loved us.

John 4:19 says:

"We love him, because he first loved us."

What a powerful thought.

The Savior of the World knows me personally and loves me perfectly.

If only I could remember that more often?! He loves all of me, including all the flaws I see in myself. I wish I could see myself the way He sees me. I feel like my life would be a lot happier! Ha. I take great solace in knowing that my relationship with my Father in Heaven is a personal one and that He cares about me so individually. Yay! Ha. That's reason alone to be the happiest girl alive! :D

True Story...

2 posts in one day? I know, I'm getting ambitious. ha. This one is quick though. Just a thought from Ed Week that I've been thinking about a lot lately.

The grass isn't greener on the other side.

The grass is greener where YOU water it!

Long time no see

     It's possible that I just plagarized my own blog title. I do that sometimes... Ha. It's only cuz it's been a long time since I blogged, and because i'm not a very creative person. So here's the update.

     I'm doing AWESOME with my weightloss. I've lost 25 pounds and my pants don't fit anymore. I have to safety pin them for work... ha. It's bitter sweet cuz I loved those pants, but mostly sweet cuz it means i'm loosing weight! Woohoo!! :D Thank you Miss Chelene Johnson. :)

     Second, my parents finally moved in to their new house and are living there. They spend 3 weeks at the beginning of the summer at MY tiny 2 bedroom apartment. It was.. fun! But crazy. Anyway, the great thing about it is that Justin was out of town this weekend, so I got to stay with them instead of by myself at home. Woohoo!!! It was nice to hang out and eat dinner with them and cuddle with my little sis to fall asleep. I love them! Yay for moving to Utah! haha. (never thought I'd say that!)

     Third, last week my Grandma came to stay with us so she could go to education week. Which prompted me to go to education week too. Mom was nice enough to pay for an evening pass for me and Justin, so after work every day, we went to Ed Week. And it was simply amazing. We heard some phenomenal talks and it promted lots of good discussion. One in particular was by a guy named Scott Anderson. He gave the most beautiful lecture series about Hope and trusting in our Savior. There was never a dry eye in the room by the time it was done. It was so uplifting. Thank you Ed week!
     I also got a great idea from a lady. She said she sends daily scripture texts to her kids and some family so I decided to do the same thing. And so far it's been good! I've been sending them every day for about a week now, and ppl seem to like it! :) If you're not getting those texts, and you want them, let me know. :)

     So that's my update. Yay for life! The past few weeks have been some major ups and major downs but over all, the ups are winning by a long shot. Thank you to everyone who's contributed to that. Love you! :)

Music is what feelings sound like....

Music is a HUGE part of my life. I simply could not live with out it. I go crazy when everything is just silent! Now, there are moments when silence is necessary. There's nothing sweeter than sitting in the temple in silence and listening to the spirit speak to you. But other than that very instance, I almost always want music. I can't ahndle dirving with out it, I just won't work out with out music, I get ready in the morning with music, it's on at work in a head phone.. you get the picture. When I was younger, one of my favorite things was to wake up on Saturday mornings to Jon playing the piano. He has a beautiful way with the piano and I can't get enough of it. In spite of some of the silly fights i've had with him, I have always loved and praised his incredible abilities with music. I grew up with music all around me. Not just with jon, but the rest of my family as well. We're all pretty decent singers and we put together a pretty good quartet. Ha. And I love all kids of music. Sometimes I'm in the mood for some twangy country music, sometimes Micheal Buble and company. Other times some Relient K and other times Josh Groban. Just depends on my mood! If I hear a truely beautiful voice, I almost always cry. Ha. So I want to share a few videos of some of my favorite songs. These aren't my all time favorites, but they're songs I can listen to over and over again and get chills every time...

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. ~Aldous Huxley

I know this sounds lame, and I can not Stand Taylor Swift, but I can  listen to this version a million times over and over. ha.

A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. ~Leopold Stokowski

The Cello Song, by Steve Sharp Nelson

John Williams is a genius. I can listen to his music all day.

This is one of my favorite Church songs ever. It's so incredibly beautiful.

Anyway, enjoy my little rant on music. I love it!!

Yes, I was wrong...

Ever feel like a moron? I have...

Ever accuse someone of something they didn't do? I have...

Ever make someone feel like crap cuz of something you did? I have...

Ever wish you had just said something, rather than keeping it cooped up inside where it gets worse and worse and then when it comes out it's nothing like what it was when it started? ha.. I do.

I just want to apologize to anyone that i've ever done anything like this too.

 I'm sorry!

Flashbacks...

Ever feel like you just want to be wanted... Yeah.. It sucks...

Long time no see!

Sorry blog world. I've been crazy busy lately. It's been since July 2nd that I last posted! Sad Day. Ha. I have been reading other blogs, but haven't been writing. So, maybe i'll give an update on one of my recent blogs, my weightloss journey! Ha. I don't want this blog to become some kind of story of inspiration and i'm certainly not looking for some kind of movie deal with my crazy story. ha. But I said earlier that I needed to be responsible to someone for my progress, so here I am. I'm actually trying to be 100% honest with my hubby about everything I eat and the workouts I'm doing and stuff. He's my biggest fan in all this so if i'm having a hard time with whatever, I feel very comfortable with telling him and getting his help. To be honest, i haven't always felt that way with him about my weight. I was dumb, but I allowed myself to think that all  he wanted to was to have the perfect  beautiful wife and I wasn't it because of my weight. And i can't believe I thought that. When I finally told him that I felt that way, he was almost offended that I had that little of on opinion that he would think that. So, shame on me. But luckily we've gotten passed that. I know he loves me no matter what and I'm lucky to have him there to help me. The thing that's the best is that he cares so much about me that he'll tell me all the good things, and he's there to help me with the bad too. When I don't work out, he'll ask me why. When i'm eating something that I shouldn't eat, he'll tell me not to! And that's the way I want it to be. I need someone to help me out! And I'm lucky to have him.


So, wanna know how well i'm doing?! Ha. I started about a month ago, and I've lost 15 lbs!!! Woohoo!! I'm very proud of myself. And i'm finding it's really not that hard. Ha. Why didn't I do this before?! I feel awesome when I work out and I've found some awesome recipes via "Cook this, Not that." It's an awesome cook book and all the recipes have under 300 calories per serving. Sweet huh?! I love it. And so does my hubby. Ha. I'm cookin some YUMMY food. :D It's surprisingly saving us money too. I have to get different kinds of protein every day so it's making me plan all our meals and planning saves a LOT of money! ha. So yay!! So far, WAY good and I'm loving this! I haven't actually seen a whole lot of change, but I feel it, and the scale sees it, so I'm trusting it and I'll keep going. 

Thanks for all y'all's support!  

Do you trust me?

I have had a major issue lately with trusting people. I feel like I do a good job of giving people the benefit of the doubt and saying they're being honest until proven otherwise. I don't like to automatically think people are lying. I know a lot of people need others to gain their trust, but I think I'm the other way around. It's even to the point where I get teased a lot cuz I believe when people tell me silly things! Ha. Like they'll make up storeis about themselves and I have no reason not to believe them, so I do! But lately I feel like I've been lied to by people that I thought I could trust. And I'm findin it crazy hard to trust someone after they've lied to me and I know they have. Like sometimes I think someone's lying, but I don't know for sure, but when I'm certain they're lying to me, I have a hard time even talking to them! To be honest, the first time I really noticed a problem was my freshman year of college and since then, once I know someone's lied to me, it's hard for me to trust them again.

I'm not sure how to deal with this... Does anyone have any suggestions? I want to say first, so that no one thinks the wrong thing, I'm not talking about my hubby! He's always been so honest with me and I'm incredibly grateful for that. But unfortunately, there's been lots of lying among the people I care a lot about and it's incredibly hard to deal with.

One situation in particular was with someone extremely close to me. I was getting along amazingly well with this person and I just found out this morning that they have been lying to me for months. I feel so betrayed by them and I don't know what to do about it. I want to talk to them about it too but I don't know if it will do any good. This person is in a really fragile place and I think it will just make things worse. Any ideas...?

All I is I never want to be lied to again...